Are you aware you call Florida's Turnpike "The Less Stressway?"

Yes, and no we can't say it with a straight face.


How much money do tolls bring in?

Like fucking 600 million dollars a year! Rest assured,

all of it was used to uh, repave the lanes or some shit.

Plus,yellow road paint is like 100 bucks a quart.


Why do I have to pay tolls when I already pay taxes?

Because you are an idiot and I pee on you.

You idiot. With your dumb nose.


Why do we pay twice what New Yorkers pay for their roads?

We have growing transportation needs and

hookers charge double for the REAL nasty stuff


Aren't New York transplants annoying?

Fuck, yes. They don't have to be. But, they make sure they are.


How do you decide where to put an interchange or build a highway?


You guys are so lame. Here have some more fucking express lanes.


Where is the best place to dispose of a body? No reason.

The Everglades